11:05 p.m. - 01 February, 2006
Am I Star Material?
That question has entered my head too many times to count today. We went to the highshool for a tour and me, Stef and Astrid have our hearts set on being on the drill team. So, when it was time to check out the electives we went straight to the 'Star' table--and so did all those preppy bitches who think they're better than everyone else. Well, you have to be fricken rich to afford one of those uniforms! 1000 bucks!!! They cost that fricken much!! But I want to be a Star so bad, it's undiscribable how much I want it! I'd give ANYTHING! Oh I pray to God that he helps me acheive my dream! Sammy, please pray for me--tell your friends too, if they want to that is. I just need to nail that split!
I'm scared but then I'm not about going to highschool. Everyone tells me it's fun, and I'm sure it is--but I'm going be in pre-ap and I hope that isn't unbelievably hard. Ahh, and I signed up 4 band again and I just hope that I don't make a fool of myself while marching w/ the new sophmores, juniors and seniors--and other freshmen either! Especially Jesse Magallen. I guess he's one of the small reasons I want to be a Star--so he can notice me at least a little. But I love it! Have you ever wanted something SO BAD that you'll be willing to do anything to acheive it? And your soul feels so weird, like you want to burst into tears cause you want it so bad? That's kinda how I feel. It's weird, and my friends are hardly any support.
For example, I told Klaudia I wanted to be a Star and she just said that they're too expensive and that I won't make it--Siobhan told me basically that too! And when I told Matt that I WILL meet Randy Orton, he just laughed and said 'In your dreams!' WHAT THE HELL! These people are supposed to be my fricken friends, and all they do is put me down! The only good friends I have are Estefania, Astrid and definently Arely. The 3 people I would be lost without---and you 2 Sammy! I love you! You give me hope from across the world! *E-Hug!* Anyway, I really want to be a Star, and I will somehow get enough $ to afford the uniform--the football and reg school uniforms!
Please God, help me.
Future Drill Team Captain
Nia
